The demise of love at first sight? (Op-Ed on Tinder) 

“Download a Tinder you’ll get all the affirmation you deserve!” “ My tinder hookups are great.“ “I just downloaded the app and already have 60 matches.” These are just some of the few phrases my friends have repeatedly said to me in an attempt to encourage me to join the dating app, “Tinder.” Tinder is so deeply enrooted in not only just college culture but adult life as well that it seems like the only means of forming romantic relations with someone in this day and age. It really is as simple as a quick swipe right with your thumb to instantaneously receive mutual reciprocation. So is the progression of human relationships really evolving into just looking at our phones instead of in the eyes of someone else?  Do we just reduce people down to a few of one’s best forefronted photos, along with a bio that encapsulates how unique one is, and one’s favorite song that is suppose to present this well rounded image on exactly who they are as a person?

Before realizing how popular and widespread Tinder is in our society,  I always lived my life turning a blind eye to the idea of ever putting myself out there through the internet. Zero judgement to anyone that uses dating apps to try to find their partner since it all comes down to personal preference, but it seems now with the simple usage of Tinder we collectively as human beings are disregarding the concept of  approaching people in person and putting ourselves out there in the moment. In other words we can’t even stand in a elevator with someone without instantly reverting to our phone.

As someone with extreme social anxiety to the extent of literally looking down at my feet in order to avoid making eye contact with my fellow college peers whilst trying to cross the Boylston-Tremont intersection to get from the Walker building to Ansin, I completely understand why it is so hard and nerve wracking to just go up to someone you’re interested in and introduce yourself to them. Growing up I was inundated with the concept of falling in love at first sight based on all the films and TV shows that influenced my perception with love. Love at first sight to me encouraged a sense of hope that I would be in a situation specifically like the scene in 500 Days of Summer where Summer introduces herself to Tom through mutual love for The Smiths and bam a relationship is acquired through just a small interaction.

My perception of love at first sight can definitely be categorized towards being a lost in the clouds romanticist, but in actuality there were decades of history before the 21st century where human beings were somehow able to develop relationships without the existence of Tinder as a foundation to rely upon. At the end of the day Tinder is based upon looks and there is hardly any way to counteract the essentiality of a user’s picture choices. The picture acts as the main and first component that users instantly judge upon whether that’s immediately swiping left or taking the extra few seconds to actually read one’s bio after looking at their pictures to see if potential is evident. Though it is human instinct to impulsively judge people based upon their face not even just on Tinder, but in our daily lives as general, its specifically disappointing and depressing to me how much emphasis in romantic intention is based on the exterior of someone instead of interior. Though you can dm a person and try to get to know them better and even take the leap towards meeting the person in real life to me at the end of the day you still met that person just through browsing through a couple of photos of them.

I would like to believe that people are still able to muster up their courage and approach someone and compliment them or get to know them better in the moment, but lately in this current day and age I feel like that method of meeting people is fading away like the erosion of a dinosaur fossil. Tinder will definitely continue to be the primary catalyst for hookups or unsolicited compliments in the dms, since all these actions can be achieved easily through the use of your phone without even needing to approach someone in person. However, I’d like to hope more self awareness is shined upon the artificiality that manifests within Tinder and how there genuinely is more to a person than a few photos can convey to one. Though I am no love guru of any sorts, I hope collectively as a society we can strive towards spreading more love verbally over digitally.